'Island of Terror' (1966) (B-Movie Review) -- Part Three
A note from your friendly neighborhood blogger: Although I have in the past observed the holiday season by focusing on holiday movies during said season … well, I didn’t this year. I dunno why exactly. I’m actually kind of excited about Christmas (even as an aspiring atheist, I have no problem with Christmas as a description of a holiday that’s celebrated) this year. Anyhow, I shall attempt (maybe) to be more seasonal in future. I’ll be more seasoned, that’s for sure.
Oh, and we’re up to Part Three of this movie review. Here’s the previous part.
In one scene, the three doctors (only one of whom is/will be/was The Doctor) confront two creatures at once. Revealed to be little more than Doctor Who rejects miniatures used in War of the Worlds crawling shells with one or two tentacles, one of the doctors smashes one them with an ax. He succeeds in breaking the shell, which appears to be full of Cup O’ Noodles.
Meanwhile, the other creature must be stealthier, for out of somewhere a tentacle appears, and one of the docs ends up being the creature’s meal bone-sucked to death. He was a relatively short-lived character, probably due to budget constraints. Besides, they needed to raise the stakes and show that these creatures were serious. Without sacrificing Peter Cushing and the Poor Man’s Richard Burton love interest and protector of the lovely jetsetter.
Speaking of, Merrill gets to really Hammer it up here (get it? -- ha!) do lots of screaming during this scene! She literally just stands in a corner, screaming. Filled with horror. Frozen in place. OMG. This jetsetter life just got real. But the would-be Richard Burton horny kind Dr. West is there to comfort her, then bark orders at her to get her ass in gear.
Oh, and that whole bit with the monsters cracking open and having Lipton noodle soup come out? It’s their way of reproducing. And given that they divide every few hours and they’re confined to a tiny island off the coast of, etc., estimates are that the silicate population will soon outnumber the human one by ten to one, with the odds for humans getting worse by the moment. (And that’s without counting any zombies, mummies, vampires, or other formerly living humans that may happen to be there.)
After cramming hard for their silicate certification exam poring over the late Dr. Phillips’ (who we never really got to know, but there are no small actors or parts. something like that) notes, Drs. West and Stanley are off to round up a mess of islanders who are led by a certain Roger Campbell (who does not, as far as we know, have a medical degree), so it’s not entirely clear who’s in charge. In any case, it’s their job to mount an offensive form a second front form a first front pick a leader attack the silicates with “everything they’ve got,” including (but, presumably, not limited to) bullets, petrol bombs, and dynamite.
They all fail to stop the creatures, because their shells are impenetrable. Even though we just saw one get cut in half by an ax.
If they’d only had a mess of DDT or Agent Orange. But that would’ve ended the movie way too soon, no matter what you may think about that.
PS: In a small gesture toward the holidays, I checked out the Internet Archive and found a couple of interesting movies.
One is a short film called Christmas Eve’s, and the source describes it as follows (and I quote):
Christmas Eve’s is a NSFW 16mm ‘arts student’ vintage nudie cutie film about 4 pretty gals waking up on Christmas morning and unwrapping their gifts. The film is a scratched up, worn out and badly warped, multi-generation dupe suffering from vinegar syndrome with lots of breaks, splices and blown sprockets. Most of the shadow and highlight detail are gone. Still, it is a most welcome and rare time capsule from a bygone era.
So, with that squarely addressed, I’ll give you a choice.
You can watch the MSTK-worthy short film Christmas Eve's, possibly the most boring/bizarre/interesting/Freudian porn movie ever made.
Just click the link above if you have nothing better to do for 16 minutes.
Don't worry. It's pretty much all boobs, butts, and the occasional glimpse of pubic hair.
And women who really love to fondle their handguns whilst half-dressed, because their boobs are hanging out.
Or, you can watch one of my real favorite movies! :)
They just don't make 'em like this, anymore! :)
